


Smash Into You

by len1985



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/len1985/pseuds/len1985
Summary: Based on the spoiler. Serena, Jason and Elinor have a car accident with devastating consequences. This is all the events prior to and all the way through to the aftermath.





	1. Chapter 1

New Year. New Start. It was Serena's mantra for 2017 as she smiled to herself. Everything was finally looking up for the vascular surgeon. Since stepping down as deputy CEO, she was free to focus on treating patients and didn't have a veritable Everest of paperwork to take home every evening. Jason had settled in well to his new role as a porter on AAU and was doing a great job. She was so proud of how he had come on socially and his confidence as a result. The patients loved him. Serena loved him liked a son and that's what he had become to her. She glanced over to him in the passenger's seat and took her hand momentarily off the wheel to squeeze his hand in her own. He had grown more and more accustomed to how tactile she was, and would even offer up the occasional unprompted touch to her. This was a testimony in itself of how far they'd come.

As she drove to their dinner, her thoughts turned to the other reason for her good mood, someone who she had never expected and this time last year she didn't even know. If anyone had told her then that this New Year's Eve she would be in love with a woman, she might have laughed in their idiotic face. Of course, when that woman was Bernie Wolfe anything was possible. She certainly couldn't say that they'd had the easiest of times getting here. Serena had been intrigued by the trauma surgeon from the beginning but had put it down to wanting a friend. Something she hadn't had very many of if she was honest. They had become close so quickly and it had been natural and comfortable. She was a little disappointed when she learned of Bernie's affair and that she'd kept it from her. The fact that she dismissed it out of hand almost instantly should have been her first clue that something deeper was going on.

Then there was all that business with Cameron and the car accident. She had lied to the police for this woman as naturally as breathing. She liked to think that the truth had come out because Bernie had realised that she had asked too much of her. Serena hated liars and yet she found herself forgiving the blonde again. Clue number two you could say. Looking back, her love for Bernie was as inevitable as The Sun rising each morning and setting each night. Bernie was in so many ways the antithesis of Serena. She was chaos to Serena's order, she was tactless and messy, with an awful bedside manner. Serena was considerate and personable. But neither would have the other any different. They complimented each other perfectly, two halves of the same whole. Serena had softened Bernie's sharp edges and Bernie had taught Serena to loosen her control on things and people.

When Bernie had first kissed her it had come as a shock but not an unwelcomed one. Serena had returned the kiss because it felt right to have Bernie's lips crushed against her own. At the end of the day Serena hadn't cared that Bernie was a woman, she cared that she was Bernie. Their second kiss was less frantic and desperate in some ways, but rather than borne out of the emotions following Fletch's stabbing, it had been the result of Serena's fear of losing Bernie. Bernie had run anyway. To Kiev of all places. Serena had never missed anyone as she missed Bernie those eight weeks. She was relieved and overjoyed when Bernie came back to admit that she'd missed her just as much.

Now they were in a relationship and though they weren't at the stage of shouting it from the rooftops, the people who mattered most to them knew and were happy for them. Except Elinor. Serena hadn't seen a lot of her daughter recently and she was actually the one she and Jason were meeting for dinner. Serena wanted to let her know face to face about Bernie. It seemed only right that she know and Serena wanted her blessing in truth. Bernie couldn't make it because she had to be on shift. One of them had to be there to mend those unfortunates who weren't so lucky tonight. Whether it be some drunken accident or a fight breaking out at a club or even the thought of another hopeless year causing some poor soul to try to harm themselves, the hospital would be inundated tonight. Bernie had offered to take it because she knew it was one of the only free nights Ellie had to see her Mum. She'd wanted to have an early dinner, of course, so she could head out with her friends afterwards.

As Serena pulled up to the restaurant, she hoped that her daughter would understand that she loved Bernie and that they made each other happy. Nothing else really mattered in the grand scheme of things. If all went well this evening, the couple could face a new year with the support of their loved ones. Parking the car and shutting off the engine, she breathed deeply and pushed the air back out in a rush, trying to prepare herself for the conversation that needed to happen now.

She followed Jason inside, glancing around for Elinor, wondering if she'd arrived before them. She spotted her propped on a stool at the bar and letting the maitre'd take her coat, Jason liked to keep his with him at all times, they headed over to greet Ellie.

"Hi sweetheart!" Serena pulled her daughter off the stool into a bear hug and kissed her warmly on both cheeks. "Let me look at you" Serena cooed drawing her back from her a bit, she scanned for the normal motherly things: she was a little on the thin side, was she eating enough? A little peaky and slight dark circles under her eyes, Serena hoped she was sleeping ok. No obvious signs of distress or injury. All in all, she looked good and Serena was delighted to see her. "I love your dress!"

"Thanks Mum." Elinor tried desperately to extricate herself from Serena's grip. "Hi Jason, how are you?" Elinor was as fond of her cousin as her mother was.

"Very well thanks. Did Auntie Serena tell you I'm a porter now?" Jason smiled at his own achievement.

"Yes and you're fab according to her too." Elinor winked kindly at him. So like her Mum that one.

"Shall we get to our table then?" Serena was keen to get to the matter at hand and she was starving now that they were here, all the delicious smells around them made her stomach rumble.

She guided them back to the maitre'd. "Table for Campbell, three people please."

"Very well madam, follow me this way please." He led them to a quiet table in the corner, where at least they'd have some privacy if things turned sour.

They settled in and placed their drinks order. No Shiraz this evening, Serena was driving so she had to be sensible.

"So Ellie how are things? What's new?" Serena wasn't ready to jump straight in and she wanted to hear about how Ellie was getting on. They shouldn't leave it so long next time.

"Oh you know. Same old, same old." Ellie was being deliberately evasive.

"Well I mean are you seeing anyone?" Serena wanted some insight into how her daughter spent all her time.

"No one special." She shrugged off the question. "How about you Mum, you with anyone?"

Serena supposed that was as good a cue as any. "Since you ask..." she began.


	2. Chapter 2

"Back up, Mum. Bernie's a woman?" Elinor looked at Serena like she was a stranger, not sure she knew her at all.

"Very astute darling, yes she is a woman." This wasn't going exactly to plan, worry lines started to crinkle Serena's face.

"So, what, you're a lesbian now?" Elinor almost laughed at that. Almost.

"I really don't see what labels have to do with it. She makes me happy." Serena was hurt.

Elinor had the grace to hang her head in shame at that. She softened "I'm sorry Mum. It was just a shock, that's all." She reached for Serena's hand, squeezing it supportively.

Ellie knew better than most how hard Serena had tried to make things work with her father. How humiliating loving Edward could be. His drinking. His affairs. She deserved happiness and if she'd found it with Bernie, Elinor would warm easily enough to the woman who made her Mum smile again.

"I'd like to meet her." Elinor chanced. " If that's ok."

Serena beamed "Of course, I'd love that. I think you two would get on well. We'll arrange it for the next time you're home." Serena felt lighter then, knowing that Ellie was ok with this.

"Did you know about this?" Ellie teased her cousin.

"Yes. I really like Dr Bernie. She makes Auntie Serena laugh and she watches quiz shows with me." Jason couldn't see how anyone could need more than that really.

They finished off the rest of their meal in companionable chit-chat, relishing in each other's company. Serena was basking in the glow of having both her children near.

As they headed outside, Serena noticed that Elinor was cuddling up to her more than usual, she was complimenting Serena's new coat and had that look in her eye that could only mean one thing. "What do you want?" Serena hazards suspiciously, knowing her daughter too well.

"Could I have a lift in to town to meet me friends? Pleeeease Mum. I could save on a taxi and that way we chat some more in the car." Ellie put on a mock pout and Serena swore she was 5 years old again, asking for a pony for Christmas.

"Oh alright. Jason, since it's in the other direction from home, shall I drop you back first?" Serena knew he didn't like unexpected deviations.

He thought on this for a moment. "No that's ok, I'd rather stay with you. University Challenge isn't on for another hour, so we have time."

Elinor had to scramble into the back behind her mother's seat, as Jason wouldn't sit anywhere but the passenger's seat and jumped in first.

"Just let me see if I can give Bernie a quick call before we go." Serena moved to a quiet spot away from the car and dialled. Straight to voicemail. She must be busy, but Serena wanted to let her know things had gone well.

"Hi hun. I was hoping to hear your voice but I guess you're up to your elbows in theatre. Things went really well with Elinor and she wants to meet you. Can you believe it? I'm just going to drop her at the club to meet her friends and head home with Jason. Maybe I could persuade him to swing by the hospital on the way back. I'd love to see you, since we won't be toasting our first New Year together. Anyway, I'll hopefully see you soon. If I'm asleep when you get back, please wake me for a New Year kiss. Happy New Year, Bernie. I'm so happy we'll be together this year. Gotta run, Ellie's waving frantically from the car to hurry up. I love you."

As she hung up Serena tensed at having said those words. It had just slipped out. She did love her. Hopefully Bernie wouldn't panic when she heard it, they hadn't said it to each other yet and maybe an answerphone message wasn't the best first time. Serena didn't have time to consider it for long, Ellie was signalling her over again.

They set off in the direction Elinor indicated, soft music falling from the speakers and continuing their conversation from inside the restaurant.

Under normal circumstances, Serena Campbell and David Robertson would never have met. There was no reason for their lives to overlap. Until tonight.

David's wife had chosen this morning to announce that she was leaving him, taking the kids and staying with her parents until the divorce was final. Divorce. The word hit David like a freight train to the chest. She'd said she couldn't start another year married to a jobless no-hoper. Since the redundancy, David had looked for work but not many were in the market for a 40-something car salesman these days.

That was the story of how David came to be here. Standing by the side of the road, bottle of Jack Daniels in hand, contemplating the remnants of his so called life. He couldn't even do this properly, he taunted himself. Anyone with any conviction would find a flyover bridge somewhere and throw themselves off. Not you, David, you loser. He was going to hurl himself in front of the next car. Or so he'd told himself for the last 30 cars or so. Come on, David, be a man for once in your life! Just before you kill yourself, anyway.

Taking one last swig from the bottle, he tossed in into the road, glass smashing everywhere. This was it, the next car was definitely the one. His mind was made up now.

Serena Campbell's car was the next one to come towards him. He readied himself, it was now or never...

The three of them had noticed the man swaying on the footpath, but assuming he was just some drunk separated from his mates, they carried on chatting until Elinor saw him move at the last minute. "Mum look out!" she screamed as she saw the man fold to throw himself in front of the car.

Serena swerved at the very last possible second to avoid David Robertson. She had done her job, as she has countless times before as a surgeon. She had saved his life.

The blow out of her tyres hitting the broken glass in the road was deafening. The force throwing her car sideways into the oncoming traffic. The last thing Serena saw was the headlights as the other vehicle ploughed into the driver's side.

Then darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

Bernie was only out of theatre, heading back to the ward when she heard the commotion of another trauma call being wheeled in by the paramedics. Raf, Morven and Cam were helping her tonight, so Serena could meet Elinor. Ric, Jac and a few others were on shift to assist for the more serious surgeries. She caught snatches of the handover as she ran to where she'd be needed.

"RTC. Lorry struck car side-on, impact to driver's side. Both vehicles doing approx. 40mph. 5 casualties. It's the two women from the car we have here. Both critical. Driver, female, age 51, found unconscious at scene but breathing, hasn't regained consciousness yet. BP stable at 120/80, pulse 95, head and possible spine injuries, rib damage from seatbelt. The first passenger, female, age 20, is awake but disorientated, BP low at 95/60, pulse 60, suggesting internal bleeding from unknown source, probable seatbelt injury also, had to be cut out by fire brigade. Second passenger, male, aged 24, all vitals within normal range, minor cuts and abrasion mainly from airbag deploying. Lorry driver, male, aged 46, seems unhurt but will need to be observed for shock. Man that caused the accident and called emergency services, aged 43, also unharmed but in shock."

Bernie reached the ward only to see Fletch step in front of her, stopping her from going any further.

"What are you doing Fletch, step aside? This is a trauma case." She glared at the nurse to let her past.

Fletch didn't move, his face white as a sheet. The paramedics had recognised Serena and Jason at the scene, radioed ahead to let them know...

"Why isn't she waking up?" Jason was being checked over near to the trolley carrying his Aunt, he sounded terrified.

Bernie's head snapped round towards the sound of his voice. Jason? What was Jason doing here? Who wasn't waking up?

Fletch braced himself to have to try to stop the Major when she realised what was happening. He wasn't fast or strong enough.

"SERENA!" Bernie ran over to the trolley, shaking Fletch off like a rag doll. Serena was caked in blood from a head wound and she looked so small and fragile encased in the head and neck supports to secure her spine. "Did she come round at all?" Bernie asked the nearest paramedic. He shook his head.

"She'll need a full neck and spine CT, MRIs and a brain scan. Page radiology to push everything that can wait back and prep theatre in case they find anything." Raf was behind Bernie barking out orders. Bernie herself had sunk to her knees beside Serena, the whole ward had faded out and everything was whizzing past as if time had sped up.

"Ric's already been paged, Elinor will need a scan to assess for internal bleeding, but in all likelihood she'll need surgery. Can we get 8 units of O neg and cross match right away? She's bleeding from somewhere so quick as we can everyone."

"Given the circumstances, you can't take this one Bernie, I'm sorry. We'll do everything we can and keep you informed." Raf placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Like Hell you will. I'm not moving from her side, except to see the scans." Bernie was on her feet ready to follow Serena up to radiology. "And someone will page me to scrub in for Elinor's procedure." It wasn't a request. Whatever they found, she wouldn't be allowed to operate on Serena, but she would save her daughter when the time came.

Bernie held Serena's hand as gently as possible so as not to aggravate any injuries they didn't know about yet. "I'm here, Serena. I'm not going anywhere." She didn't care who saw as she softly kissed her forehead. Serena seemed to squeeze her hand then and Bernie's eyes filled with tears. "You're going to be ok. You hear me? I'm not letting you go now that you're finally mine. I'm only sorry I was too much of a frightened idiot to admit what you mean to me sooner."

Bernie stood with the radiologist as they carried out all the necessary scans, checking that nothing would be missed. The scans showed that Serena's neck and spine were miraculously unharmed so the brace could come off. Her brain scan showed swelling not uncommon in head injuries, but they wouldn't know how serious it was straight away. They would wait for a little while and hope the swelling reduced as her body healed itself. She could wake up on her own once the swelling subsided. If the swelling didn't go down on its own, then they'd have to operate to relieve the pressure to Serena's brain. It was a waiting game now. She had some broken ribs from the seatbelt but they would have to heal on their own.

Serena was moved back down to a side room on the ward and Bernie sat with her, holding her hand as she waited for news on Elinor. Raf had stitched up her head wound perfectly.

"Is she going to be ok?" Jason came to check on his Aunt, he was under observation on the main ward but thankfully only seemed to have cuts and bruises. The airbags had cushioned him and Bernie thanked God they'd all been wearing seatbelts.

Bernie wasn't sure how much to tell him but she didn't want to lie to him. "The truth is we don't know for sure yet, Jason. She's hit her head pretty badly and her brain is trying to cope with that. We can wait and hope she wakes up soon when her brain recovers. If it doesn't happen by itself, they will do an operation. She's a fighter though and she has you and Elinor to wake up for, so my money's on Serena."

"And you." Jason added.

Bernie looked confused so he qualified.

"She has you to wake up for too. She told Elinor all about you at dinner. She really loves you Dr Bernie, I can tell from how happy she is when she talks about you." Jason moved to hold Serena's other hand tenderly. " Why do you think that man jumped in front of the car?"

Bernie tensed. "What man?"

"That man, just there." He pointed to the patient in bed 5, also under obs. "At first I thought he'd fallen because he was drunk but the paramedic said he caused the accident, so does that mean he did it on purpose?"

"I don't know, Jason. But I'm going to find out." Bernie stood, squaring her shoulders. David Robertson would wish he had killed himself when Major Wolfe was finished with him.


	4. Chapter 4

It was simple enough for Bernie to slip unnoticed over to the man's bed, she was still in scrubs and no one would think it strange, a doctor checking a patient's chart, just doing regular obs.

"So Mr...Robertson..." Bernie glances at the chart for his name. "How are you feeling?"

"Doc, can you tell me what happened to the people in the accident, are they ok?" he seemed genuinely concerned. Bit fucking late for that. Bernie thought, rage rising in her gut.

"I can't give you any information, I'm afraid. Confidentiality." Bernie smiled as though she was looking straight through the worthless piece of shit. "Tell me, Mr Robertson..." Bernie spat his name out like it was burning her tongue just to say it. "...do you remember much of what happened?" Bernie was fishing now, but if this asshole had done anything to cause all this, she would kill him with her bare hands.

He hung his head as he told her what had happened, never once looking her in the eye.

"Do you realise what you've done?!" Bernie was screaming now, drawing attention but she didn't care. "Because of you..." she jammed her finger into his chest to punctuate her point "...the woman I love is in a coma. She may never wake up. She could have brain damage. And you tell me that Serena, that's her name by the way, remember that name Mr Robertson, swerved to save your life and all you wanted was to kill yourself! She saved your worthless, selfish ass because that's who she is. She's a doctor in this hospital and now her friends and colleagues are forced to treat her, forced to wait to see if she'll recover because of YOU! Her daughter could be bleeding out. 20 years old, whole life ahead of her. If anything happens to either of them, you'll wish you were never born." Bernie was sobbing now, had the man by the scruff of the neck and wanted nothing more than to grant his desire to end his life. But then what Serena did would be for nothing. She couldn't have that. So she let him go.

Fletch came over to guide her away from the ward. "Come on, Bernie maybe you should get some air."

Bernie wriggled out of his grip. "I'm not leaving her, Fletch." She headed back to Serena's room. Jason was still there but thankfully he hadn't heard her little outburst.

"Jason, maybe you should head back to your bed to get your obs done. You can come back when you're done if you want, but you should take it easy, try to get some rest. I'll come get you if anything changes. I promise." Bernie tried to sound as reassuring as possible.

"What about Elinor?" he asked.

"I'll go and see what I can find out." Bernie figured she'd have had her scan and be heading for theatre if need be by now.

Bernie saw Raf out on the ward again and cornered him for an update.

"The scans show bleeding from the spleen and the liver. Most likely from the seatbelt. She's bleeding into her cavity. Ric's prepping as we speak, I'm heading to assist since there's no one else." Raf makes to go but Bernie stops him.

"There's me and I'm going." She stared straight at him, daring him to challenge her.

Raf valued his job and his life too much to argue. This was Bernie's area of expertise and she wasn't technically breaking any rules in this case. He stood aside to let her head to theatre.

When she made it to theatre, Ric was still scrubbing in and Elinor had been put under. She stepped up to the sink next to Ric and started to prep.

"Any word on Serena?" Ric was praying for his friend to be the strong willed woman she'd always been and pull through.

"She's still unconscious, we just have to wait, but she'll wake up soon." Bernie wanted to see Serena's beautiful brown eyes again and in her heart she felt she would. "How's Elinor?"

"Vitals have stayed stable but BP still too low. We've given her 2 units already but we need to stop the bleeding. Liver and spleen seem to be the source but we'll know more when we open her." Ric finished up and headed in to start the procedure. Bernie wasn't long behind him.

"Sure you're up for this Ms. Wolfe?" Ric didn't doubt the woman's skill, but her connection to Serena might complicate things.

"Absolutely. Scalpel please." Bernie set to work on the young woman, trying not to think of all the ways she looked just like Serena.

They seemed to stem the bleeding easily enough and repair the damage to the liver. They'd had to remove her spleen though. She'd be more susceptible to certain infections but she was young and otherwise healthy, so she should have minimum disruption to life without it.

"OK Mr Griffin I think we're done here. BP up to a safe level now, let's close her up and get her into recovery." Bernie looked to the man hoping he would relieve her, so she could check on Serena.

"You go Ms. Wolfe, I'll finish up here." He offered what she thought was a smile under the surgical mask and she nodded her thanks.

"Page me if anything changes." Bernie was gone in a flash.

As Bernie was heading down to the ward she was struck with a thought. Bugger, she would have to get in contact with Edward. He was Elinor's Dad. She couldn't believe she hadn't done it sooner. She headed back to the office and turned on her mobile. She wasn't sure why she did it, she didn't have his number in her phone. Obviously.

After a few seconds the screen flashed. One missed call and a voicemail.

From Serena.


	5. Chapter 5

Bernie spent an eternity just staring at her phone. Serena had left her an answerphone message. Her voice immortalised on Bernie's phone. What if it was the only way she'd ever hear her speak again? Tears came unbidden then, as she thought of the unique cadence of the brunette's voice. How it was the most beautiful sound in the world, and yet her hands trembled every time she tried to dial her voicemail to listen to the message. What had Serena said? She wanted to know but she couldn't listen to it.

She snatched up the phone and headed out to the ward. At the nurses station she stopped to asked Fletch if he could get a hold of Edward, Bernie didn't feel it was her place to contact him. Thankfully Fletch said it was already in hand, he was on his way. She made a quick call up to Ric to check on Elinor before she headed to sit with Serena.

She glanced over to Jason's bed and saw that, due to the late hour and the exhaustion, he had fallen asleep. She wandered over to check his chart quietly and nodded, pleased that everything looked fine, before she headed back to Serena's room. If she hadn't known better and without all the wires and monitors, she could almost imagine that Serena was just sleeping too. Bernie went to Serena's side, gently stroking her cheek, she bent down to kiss her. She willed all her strength to pass through their lips and heal Serena if it could. If it could be her lying there instead, Bernie would trade places in a heartbeat. Showering Serena's face with tender kisses, she whispered against her skin "Please, Serena, come back to me. Please darling, open your eyes. When you wake up, I can bring you one of those pain au chocolat you love so much. Medicinal, remember?"

Bernie's tears slipped down her cheeks and dropped on to Serena's face, directly underneath her own. "You are the best thing that ever happened to this useless coward. I don't deserve someone so incredible. Your smile lights up every room and warms my defective heart. You see so much good in the world that I just can't see. Who will point it out to me if you don't? You are so kind and beautiful and fierce and confident and all the things I'm not. How will I be whole without you, my love?" As she said those words she thought back to what she had said to Mr. Robertson. The woman I love. "I love you Serena Campbell. I love you and I hope you can hear me because it's true." With another kiss, she rounded the bed to sit beside the bed and hold Serena's hand until she woke up.

As she sat there she remembered the voicemail. She thought maybe she could listen to it here, alone with Serena. Perhaps she could pretend it was the Serena in the bed speaking to her, like she was unharmed for just a few moments. Fishing the phone from her scrub pocket, she dialled her answerphone, closing her eyes as she felt Serena's soothing tones fill the room:

"Hi hun. I was hoping to hear your voice but I guess you're up to your elbows in theatre. Things went really well with Elinor and she wants to meet you. Can you believe it? I'm just going to drop her at the club to meet her friends and head home with Jason. Maybe I could persuade him to swing by the hospital on the way back. I'd love to see you, since we won't be toasting our first New Year together. Anyway, I'll hopefully see you soon. If I'm asleep when you get back, please wake me for a New Year kiss. Happy New Year, Bernie. I'm so happy we'll be together this year. Gotta run, Ellie's waving frantically from the car to hurry up. I love you."

Bernie was sobbing in earnest now, the full force of hearing Serena's words crushed and comforted her in equal measure. Serena loved her. And she loved Serena. If only they'd be granted the chance to say it to each other face to face. She gently squeezed Serena's fingers, running her thumb across her knuckles. She couldn't help but regret all the time she'd spent hiding, denying and fighting her feelings for Serena. All those wasted weeks apart, hurting and missing her, when Serena had felt exactly the same way.

Bernie's head flew up then as she was sure she felt Serena's fingers grip hers. "Serena, sweetheart can you hear me?" Nothing. "Come on, Serena if you can hear, squeeze my hand please." Still nothing. Bernie folded back into the chair, deflated. Maybe all the emotional stress was making her mind play tricks.

"Bernie." The blonde's eyes snapped open. Did Serena just say her name or was this another trick? She moved to stand over her "Serena, open your eyes. It's Bernie, can you wake up for me?" Serena definitely squeezed her hand now. "That's it, Serena, come on look at me." "She's waking up, can we get some help here please?" Bernie shouted this in the general direction of the ward, not wanting to leave Serena's side ever again. Raf came running in at that with Morven. He moved over to Serena, doing all the necessary checks and lifted her lids, shining his pen torch into Serena's eyes to check for reactions. "Serena, it's Raf can you look at me? Open your eyes, Serena."

"Bernie." Serena was gripping her hand much tighter now, as if she knew it was her.

"I'm here, Serena. Do as Raf asks, open your eyes for me." Bernie begged the cosmos to intervene and make her eyes open. Please.

Slowly and groggy, Serena moaned at all the pain registering in her body at once. She tried to open her eyes but the bright lights of the side room forced them closed again. "Where...?" was all she could manage.

"You're at the hospital, Serena. There was an accident, do you remember what happened?"

She tried to shake her head, but it was too painful. "How bad?"

Bernie didn't know how much she could handle right now but she couldn't not tell her. "You have a head injury, the swelling meant that you've been unconscious for a few hours. Some broken ribs too. Jason was only scratched and bruised, he's here, he's fine. Morven can you maybe wake him? He'll want to see his Auntie Serena?"

"Jason was with me?" Serena's memory was fading in and out. She'd been at dinner and they'd driven towards town. Why would they go that way when the lived in the other direction? She opened her eyes in a flash then as she tried to sit up. "Elinor, where's Elinor?" Bernie had to hold her to keep her in the bed.

"Serena, you need to stay still. Any sudden movements could be dangerous sweetheart. Elinor's fine too. We repaired her liver but we had to remove her spleen. I left her with Ric monitoring her. I checked before I came to sit with you. All her vitals are good. She's coming round now. When you've had some rest, we can go see her ok?" Bernie couldn't resist pressing her lips to Serena's forehead to sooth her. "Everyone's ok, you need to focus on recuperating." She held Serena's face in her hands, holding her gaze to make her understand that they all were fine now.

"Auntie Serena! You're awake." Jason practicality threw himself into the room, he was so relieved she was alright.

Serena couldn't help slipping into doctor mode, checking him over for injuries. She seemed satisfied that he was relatively unharmed and went to hug him . She winced as she had forgotten about her ribs.

"I'll get you something for the pain. It's good to see you awake, Serena." Raf left to get the pain relief and Morven offered a small smile before following him.

"I'm still very tired Auntie Serena, so I might go back to bed." Jason proclaimed, stifling a yawn.

As soon as he was gone, Bernie stole a quick kiss from the brunette as gently as possible. "I was so worried. I almost killed the man who caused all this. You saved his life my darling." Bernie couldn't stop smiling.

"He tried to throw himself in front of the car. Is he ok?" Serena asked.

"Apart from me almost throttling him, he's fine, just shocked." Bernie's heart swelled at Serena thinking of the man who almost killed them all. She came as close to Serena's face as possible, looking her straight in the eye, she said what she should have said weeks ago. "I love you, Serena."

Serena smiled widely and kissed the blonde. "Is this what it takes to get you to admit it?"

"I should have told you so long ago. I'm sorry. When I thought I was going to lose you tonight, I was terrified that I'd never get to tell you. To be with you again." Bernie was crying now.

Serena brushed the tears away. "Hush , don't cry darling. We're together now." She linked her fingers with Bernie's and kissed them. "I love you too, Bernie."

"I know. I got your voicemail after you were brought in." Bernie admitted.

"Oh God. I forgot about that. It just slipped out. I thought you'd be mad or scared." Serena blushed at how stupid it all was, worrying about trivial things.

"It feels amazing to say it to your beautiful face." Bernie kissed her again. Blessed to still have the chance. "Now you should rest. I'll be here when you wake up. Always." Bernie kept hold of Serena's hand as she sat back down to watch her sleep.

"Always. I love you." Serena dozed off with the words still on her lips.


	6. Chapter 6

Raf headed back with the pain relief only to find both women fast asleep, Serena in her bed and Bernie in the chair beside her, still holding hands. He knew Bernie was technically still on shift until midnight, but that was only 40 minutes away and things were unusually quiet so he let them be.

Not very long later Bernie was awoken by Serena's sharp tug on her hand. The brunette was sweating and thrashing through a nightmare, only to snap awake with a gasp.

"Serena, it's ok you're at the hospital. I'm here. You're safe." Bernie wrapped Serena in the most delicate hug she could, so as not to hurt her.

Tears fell silently down Serena's face, she was too sore to even sob properly, every movement resulting in a sharp pain from her broken ribs. She struggled to get the air in and out of her lungs as the images from her dream clung to the edges of her memory. Even taking a breath was agony.

Bernie stroked her hair, her face and tried to get her to hold eye contract so that she would relax and get her breathing under control. "You're ok. I'm here. I've got you." Bernie soothed. Bernie's heart ached for her, wishing she could take this all away.

"Elinor. I want to see Elinor please, Bernie. I have to see her." Serena begged. She wouldn't tell the blonde that her nightmare had been a replay of the accident and that it had ended with Ellie dead at the scene.

"Serena you're not well enough yet. You need to rest." Bernie tried to reason with her. But really she'd be the same if it were Charlotte.

"I just need to see that she's ok." Serena was already trying to climb out of the bed but the pain and all the wires made her start to sink back down lightheaded.

Bernie caught her. "Easy. Serena you really need to stay as still as possible. You need time to heal sweetheart."

Serena fixed her with a determined stare. "I will go and see my daughter, with or without your help."

Bernie knew it was useless to argue with her when her mind was made up. Only she was more stubborn than the single-minded Serena Campbell. "Fine. Wait here and I'll get a wheelchair." Bernie rushed off to find one.

Serena fell back on to the bed exhausted. She hissed as the pain made her eyes water. Her chest felt like an elephant had sat on it. Bernie was right, she really should be taking it easy - soon as she knew Elinor was safe.

Bernie was back in no time with the wheelchair and was helping Serena to sit in it. "I glanced the time when I was fetching this and it's just after midnight. I know the circumstances are rubbish but Happy New Year, my love." Bernie kissed her soundly then. "I love you." She said as she pulled away smiling slightly.

"And you Bernie. I love you too." Serena had tears in her eyes and was struggling not to breakdown.

They headed slowly and carefully to Ellie's ward, chatting at intervals.

Bernie could see that Serena was anxious and she placed a supportive hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly.

As they entered the ward where Elinor was being monitored, Serena sucked in an anxious breath, holding it until she saw Ellie in the furthest bed, all hooked up to the machines, just like Serena herself had been moments ago.

Serena checked all the readings and flipped through the chart at the end of the bed. "You did her surgery?" the brunette looked up at Bernie, seeing that Ric had filled everything in but Bernie had mostly operated.

"I, well yes. I insisted, you know...they wouldn't let me treat you but I had to do something. I wanted to help. To make sure she was safe. For you." Bernie would do anything for Serena, she had almost lost the opportunity to prove it to her tonight. If she'd lost her. It didn't bear thinking about. "Serena I love you. I don't know what I would have done if..." she couldn't even say the words.

"I love you too darling. Let's not waste any more time worrying about what didn't happen. We should make the most of now." Serena tangled her fingers through Bernie's and brought her hand to her lips, kissing it tenderly. "She looks so peaceful sleeping there, it's almost like when she was little and I used to watch her sleep, just amazed at how perfect she was. Let's not disturb her, everything looks good considering and she should rest."

"As should you." Bernie chastised but with a smile on her lips.

"Ok, you win. I'll go back to bed." Serena felt a wave of exhaustion hit her full force, once she stopped to think how close they had all come today. Tears began to fall unchecked. "I should have hit him. None of this would have happened." She put her head in her hand, wobbling silently as the emotional weight settled on her shoulders.

"Look at me, Serena." Bernie was kind but firm.

Serena shook her head as much as she could in spite of the pain.

Bernie carefully lifted her head up so their eyes could meet. Placing a loving kiss to the tip of Serena's button nose. "This was not your fault. You did what you do everyday as a doctor. As the woman I love. Your first instinct was to save that man's life. You are good and kind and fearless. You put a total stranger who wanted to end his own life ahead of yourself. He was just lucky to choose your car and not some selfish idiot who would have ploughed straight through him." Bernie wouldn't let Serena blame herself for this.

Serena seemed to calm a little with Bernie's reassurance. "I think I need some sleep." She conceded.

Bernie took her back to her room and helped her into the bed.

Once Serena was comfortable under the covers she shuffled to make space for the blonde. Patting the mattress beside her, an unspoken signal that she wanted Bernie beside her tonight. It was a tight squeeze in the tiny bed but they managed it with Bernie holding Serena as lightly as possible and kissing her neck, as she whispered in her ear. "Goodnight Serena. I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you." Her voice caught on the last part and she struggled not to cry.

"I love you too, Bernie. I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for a very long time yet." Serena kissed her girlfriend's forehead and cuddled into her.

"Glad to hear it. If you can put up with being stuck with me, that is." Bernie knew she didn't deserve Serena, she thanked her lucky stars that the brunette hadn't figured that out yet. A selfish part of her hoping she never would. She vowed to be worthy of her from now on.

Serena wished the blonde wasn't so hard on herself, she couldn't see how easy she was to love, how much Serena adored her. "Thank you for what you did for Ellie." She mumbled against the blonde's hair.

They snuggled in tighter then and fell asleep in each other's arms.


End file.
